Fantasy City Sons

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Fantasy Hiatus City

As May comes to a close, I'd like to acknowledge a hiatus from Fantasy City. Much as the betting season is not in full swing, my amount of freetime is seriously stultified at this juncture of time. Of course, the gambling, substance abuse, blogging and other general debauchery is sure to continue at a future date, so please don't lose interest in betting city. After all, I am the left fielder for the surging Seattle Mariners, and it's tough to find spare time to bet heavily, let alone write about it. Until this fall - bet prudently, heavily, and much success.


Raul Ibanez

Sunday, May 14, 2006

5 Special Bets for a Very Special Event

The Champions League Final is nay at hand. This year's final is the most entertaining in recent memory, certainly since I started watching the competition with heavy interest in 2002. Arsenal with J. A. Reyes, Thierre Henry, Jens Lehman and the boys face off against goal-powerhouse Sam Eto'o and soccer icon Ronaldihno with FC Barcelona.

Arsenal is riding its already record streak of allowing no goals in Champions League play. Its been about 7 games, but, most interestingly, Arsenal has not been an overly defensive minded team. To the contrary, in their best games, (and with the notable exception of the 2nd leg at Villareal last round), the gunners have been a nimble, attacking swarm on the pitch. The relentless pressure, crisp passing and the ever-present spectre of the brilliant, dominating Henry destroy any opponent's morale and gameplan and force them to devote all resources to defense. Arsenal played some of the best soccer i've seen any side play in any competition on their way to the top, if not last round, in the quarterfinals and first knock-out rounds. Outplaying both Real Madrid and Juventus in classic matches, Arsenal is very dangerous.

More bets to come later in the week for Wednesday's game, but for now, enjoy a delicious, large, hand-rolled cannabis cigarette and toss some money at the following 5 wagers

  • Arsenal to win in 90 minutes - (+240)
  • Arsenal to win the trophy (in normal time, OT or PKs) - (+150)
  • Final score after 90 minutes
    • Arsenal 1-0 (7/1)
    • Also throw some at Arsenal 2-0 (15/1)
  • Half time leader/90 minute leader
    • Tied at the half, Arsenal Wins (7/1)
    • OR Arsenal at the Half, Arsenal Wins (6/1)
  • Team to score first - Arsenal (13/8)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

NASCAR NBA Parlay Weekend City Sons

The whole betting year can't be filled with College Basketball and Football and the NFL. These three sports are the staple of any serious bettor's yearly diet. But in the leaner times, we must be creative and enjoy the opportunities that are, in fact, present - like it's a present fact that the NBA is the most boring sport of the 4 major sports in the U.S. and the UEFA Champions League final is the best sporting event between the Superbowl and the World Series.

Oh yeah boys. For degenerates like myself, free time means one thing: betting heavily. Like Carl Edwards, I'm spending a lot of time with beautiful women; but it's not Amanda Beard and Marissa Miller, it's a $80.00 bottle of scotch and online gambling account. Whoa is motherfucking me like limo-driver-blastin' Jason Williams, I'm living on the edge. Funds running thin, the coming weeks could make or break me. Combine this newly found free time with a creative bet, and the weekend will be a heart-rendering spectacular of handicapping delight. Parlays are a handicapping dynamo. Parlaying bets is a worthy cause and an efficient way to make money. Let's do some cross-sport parlays, 3 parlays, of 3 bets each. The NBA games are tommorow, and the NASCAR races are tommorow night (Busch) and Sat evening (Nextel).

  • Parlay 1 - $142.00 to win $6800 - 3 wagers - Take Kahne in the double dip over the weekend in Darlington, SC at an old school NASCAR venue. After ridiculous troubles in the past two weeks, a mistake free Kahne is a dangerous threat. Throw in S. Nash's boys for a huge payout.
    • Phoenix City Suns +3 @ LA Clips featuring Correy Magette and the Ghost of Amare Stoudamire.
    • K Kahne 9/1 - Busch Series
    • K Kahne 9/1 - Nextel Cup
  • Parlay 2 - $142.00 to win $2600 - 3 wagers
    • T Stewart 6/1 - Nextel Cup - The monkey-for-pet-owning defending NEXTEL cup champ is hungry for a victory.
    • Phoenix +3 @ LA Clips - featuring Correy Magette and the Ghost of Amare Stoudamire.
    • Miami +3.5 @ NJ - featuring the ghost of Ronnie Seikley and the spectre of Alonso Morning's dialysis machine.
  • Parlay 3 - $250.00 to win $27,649 - 3 wagers - Huge long shot here. Imagine winning this dream wager. I'll swear on this blog and a plug of scotch that I will buy that Silver '99 M3 with 35k miles if I win this bet.
      • K Busch - 10/1 - Nextel Cup
      • C Edwards - 17/1 - Busch Series - Carl Edwards is a lucky motherfucker. I enjoy his criticism of religion and presciption drugs in a Wellbutrin-obsessed, X-tian heavy NASCAR culture. Amazing that Jeff Burton drove the "Wellbutrin" tm Chevy last year. Ford Racing's current "overactive adrenaline disorder" satire on drug company commercials are amazing for their boldness. Compared to the autenthic "restless leg syndrome" perscription drug commercials, the faux-Ford pieces are three times more believable. The line between absurd reality and fiction has completely blurred in the world of medications - dirty drugs enslaving the populous. In my country, the racing circuit will be sponsered by weed growers who proudly display a picture of the finest nug on the hood as their totemic crest.
      • Miami +3.5 @ NJ - featuring the ghost of Ronnie Seikley and the spectre of Alonso Morning's dialysis machine.
Good luck to me boys. Could be an amazing weekend.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Betting Days of Spring presented by Steve Snapper Jones and Trent Johnson

Time for betting has been exceedingly lean of late. I've taken to the strategy of betting huge sums on long odds, hoping for that one big break. This isn't the most prudent strategy, but it works for those degenerate gamblers short on time looking for a fix. And it works because I continue to win great selective bets like Phoenix +4 that earn me a few hundred dollars that I can let ride for the coming weekend on something ridiculous like the K Derby or a NASCAR longshot.

For action junkies like me, heaven is getting very high and watching a sporting event you have your week's bankroll riding on. That lucky $420 bet never lets me down. Gambling is about entertainment, but you can still be entertained without throwing away money. For degenerates like you and I, just make sure you keep yourself in the black, and it doesn't really matter if you're making a profit. The way I'm betting with any and all profit on longshots though, one of these days I will strike the jackpot, at which point I'll change my strategy. Until then...

The long winter months, for example, provide endless bored hours to make betting on C Basketball a true business. But the long days of May beckon from beyond a computer or TV screen, like a purple nug dripping in resin. I'll bet heavily - more heavily than ever - but just not as often. Let's peruse four interesting soccer bets I'll be wagering $142.00 on this evening.

  • Champions League Final - Arsenal +240 - $142.00
    • I'll be featuring this most enjoyable of sporting events before the event. I'll be betting any spare funds I have at this point on this enjoyable event. But for now, and anticipating that the lines will narrow, I'll wager confidently on the Gunners for $142.00. Again, don't miss my blowout smorgus board bet special come finals time next week. This event is definitely one of the best in sports, and I'll be pulling out all the stops to bet as much as possible. Being on vacation as I will be, there's no limit to how high and drunk I can get, and how much I can bet. Xmas comes but once a year in this corner of Seattle, WA - Wednesday May 17th.
  • England Championship Final - Preston North End PICKEM (v. Leeds +240, Draw +200) - $142.00
    • Haven't seen these boys play all year. Sometimes it's just nice to throw money at a favorite and watch the funds roll in. Plus the game is on Fox Sports World, so I'll be getting nice and blitzed to watch this soccer extravaganza.
  • Who will score the most goals in World Cup 2006 Germany? - $284 total.
    • Ruud VanNiestleroy - 15/1
      • I like the Boys from Holland, (smoking capital of the globe), to go far in the Vaterland. Thus, their top goal scorer is a bargain. What about Roy Makaay though? Better put some money on him too. Three of the top 5 narrowest odds are on Brazillians which makes any bet a rip-off for those clowns.
    • Roy Makaay - 35/1
      • What a huge bargain for the Bayern goal machine.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Last Minute K Derby Spectacular - presented by Steve Nash

Not for advice purposes, but merely to be responsibile and consistent, and to aid in deliberation, for my own betting purposes when I bet large, here is my $50 trifecta box, ($450 bet in sum), for the Derby. These three horses need to finish in the top 3, but in any order among themselves, and I'll win the value of a $50 trifecta. In this sense, the trifecta box is like the ESPN "trifecta" in that it connotes 3 horses, but doesn't give a care to these horses' orders.

Get high, as high as you can, perhaps with a bong. Blow that hit into the shower if need be to avoid disturbing the neighbords. And watch the run for the roses. May you be rich.

$50 ($450) Trifecta Box (Betting right now with odds 15 min before post times)
  • Bluegrass Cat
  • Brother Derrick
  • Barbaro
With the addition of Bluegrass Cat @ 20/1, this trifecta box is a long shot. But think of my amazing pay day opportunity. I'm letting my rare NBA bet, which was a HUGE success thanks to Mummy Nash, ride on the derby.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

NBA Playoff City

For the first time all year I'm interested in the NBA. I'm surprised I became interested at all, let alone this early in the playoffs. The NBA's best teams the last few years put me to sleep. I refuse to enjoy the unlikeable Pistons, and San Antonio is a joke. But the Lakers are an entertaining team. Kobe Bryant is as underrated as Derrick Jeter is overrated. This enjoyable player is an amazing talent - certainly more intelligent, skilled and entertaining than Lebron "Slow Lerner" James - and perhaps the best players ever to don an NBA uniform? In any case, I'm happy to see the Lakers on the verge of upsetting the P. Suns. I've always enjoyed Phoenix as well, since the days of Chuck Barkley, Thunder D. Marley, Kevin Johnson and late West. Conf. Chmpnshp showdowns with the dominate mid-90s Seattle Supersonics. This series is exciting entertainment. Perhaps we'll see a true brawl featuring Bryant and the pitiful Raja Bell. Coach M D'Antoni is in denial after losing game 4, and this game 6 figures to send him over the edge at Staples Center. Let's bet heavily.

The Lakers are a mighty -4. This seems a tad outlandish. I'll actually be somewhat surprised if the overachieving Lakes can finish the Suns off. I'll take Phoenix +4, and heavily. It's a lucky $420 on Steve "Mummy" Nash's boys tonight in downtown LA.

Also betting a lucky $42.00 on the following 3 propbets.

  • Shawn Marion, over 21 pts, -110
  • Steve Nash Under 35 pts+assts, -110
  • Kobe Bryant Total Pts, 35-39, 17/4

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Chuck Barkley - depressed, broke, drunk and addicted to gambling

Chuck Barkley's increasingly abrasive personality on TNT's NBA coverage isn't just the product of a flippant star anymore. It's clear Chuck really has something eating at him. No wonder, it's a bit sad to hear that Chuck is apparently broke, depressed and a heavy drinker and degenerate gambler. On the heels of John Daly's shocking admonition that he had lost over $40 mil to gambling, Chuck Barkley admits to losing $10 mil. Currently broke, Barkley's check from TNT is his only income.

Charles takes a good attitude towards his enormous losses - suggesting that it's a "bad habit," but noting that "if he can continue to do it" (implying that if he has any money at all) he won't stop.