Fantasy City Sons

Friday, February 10, 2006

AndrsRnksSmshdFaces

I'm letting my College Basketball Betting Unit x9 increase from the the last two days ride on the Bundesliga's action today. The Superbowl left my bankroll in tatters like the strung-out Quinn Snyder left Missouri in shambles. But betting on the Bundesliga this weekend will allow you to bloody the boomakers like Werder Bremen goalie Andreas Reinke whos face was truly, and digustingly, crumpled in in a horrid face-collision the likes of which hasn't been seen since the simian Carlos "failure" Beltran foolishly dove into a diving Mike Cam-er-on.

I'd also like to express my sympathy for the beleagued Wayne Gretsky and crew. How these unfortunate individuals can face so much scorn, shame, disgrace and hatred for simple gambling outside their own sport is embarrasing and digusting. Witchhunts like these are base power grabbing and puritanical zealotry at their most frightening. Of course, this blog does not endorse gambling and these picks are provided for novelty and entertainment value only.

The Value - Draw +555, Kaiserlautern @ Werder Bremen
  • After the Smoosh Parker like antics wrought upon Andreas Reinke's crumpled face this week, Werder is questionable at goal. Take this value bet to see the cellar-dwelling Abstieg -threatened boys from Kaiserlautern draw even in hostile Bremen. Halil Altintop faces off against Miroslav Klose in a battle of two of the Bundesliga's top scorers.
The 420 Special - Bet $420 on this matchup - VfL Wolfsburg +155 vs. Hertha Berlin
  • Hertha has struggled of late. It's about that time of the season for them to role over and die. Look for rivals Wolfburg to play very strong in Volkswagen Stadion. Diego Klimowicz is primed and ready to score at least two goals, like Larry Hughes is ready to be singled out as a shining example of how lame the NBA is.
The Favorite - Bayern Munich -600 vs. Nurnburg
  • Bayern's domination of the Bundesliga has reached heretofore unseen proportions. Whether it's dutchmen Roy Makkay, german captain Michael Ballack, peruvian Claudio Pizzaro or Oliver Kahn, the team of superstars won't bat in eye in demolishing their Bavarian counterparts @ the Olympiastadion by at least two goals.